July 1, 2005

hello again everyone...

I know it's been a while since I've last written- we've been waiting to get a definite date for the surgery. Now we have it... July 13th at 12pm. While we're eager to get this thing out, I'm glad for this next week to get things done around the house and have fun with the kids and Tim.

During the surgery they will be taking lymph nodes out as well. Because of the size of the tumor, there will be some reconstruction needed- thanks for understanding that we have chosen not to broadcast those details! The surgery will take 5-6 hours. I will be in the hospital for 3 days post-op. Then I'll have 10 days of basically doing nothing and I'll hopefully be back to "normal" in 6-8 weeks.

People keep saying, someday you'll know why this is happening. While that is true, we have already seen God's hand work in amazing ways. Even now as the reality of this cancer and surgery hit me again, I am so confident in the peace that seems to be overwhelming me. I've had some very difficult moments where I've broken down, but each time is brief and God brings me out of that dark place and reminds me to focus on Him, His love, and what He has done for me. How can I not be at peace and want to sing a song to God when I think of His faithfulness, grace, lovingkindness, wisdom, encouragement, correction, peace, and on and on... Yes I still have cancer, yes I may still have to have chemo, yes I may still have to have radiation, yes I will be out of commission for a long time, but more importantly I still have a good God who loves me with more love than I can fathom.

Thank you for your prayers now as we face the surgery (I'm a little freaked out about the length), my recovery (I'm not a very patient patient), and our life being in upheaval for several weeks. Please also remember Tim as he faces incredible stress with things at work as well as trying to be there for me and the kids... he's been amazing but I know he's also feeling the weight of everything, probably more than I am. Jake and Meghan are pretty clueless, they know mommy has an owie under her skin; but I can tell Mikayla senses it's serious and she's a little worried. My parents will be staying with us and then taking the kids to King City for a while, which is a praise, but I know they'd appreciate prayer too.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings and, again, for your prayers...
Love to you all, Linnea (and Tim!)

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord; and He delights in his way. When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; because the Lord is the One who holds his hand."
Psalm 37:23-24