August 28, 2005

Hi all...

Just wanted to touch base before I start chemo on Thurs. The day is coming quickly now. We've been very busy, but it has all been overshadowed by the impending chemo, and now it is almost here! We've had a couple of very emotional days as it gets closer.

We still are very aware that God is in control. However we are not kidding ourselves about the reality and risks of chemo. Our attitude is to expect the best and if something happens, we'll deal with it then. We are still so thankful for our doctors; I'm finding that we have been well educated and they are readily available for questions we do have. We are also extremely thankful for the type of treatment I will be getting. Along with the chemo I will be taking Herceptin weekly for one year. Herceptin has been a huge breakthrough in breast cancer research/treatment and will reduce the risk of recurrence for my type of cancer dramatically. The chemo will consist of two rounds, each with four treatments three weeks apart.

As we again stand on the edge of what sometimes feels like a 1,000 foot cliff, we covet your prayers more than ever. We know that God is on the other side, but man the faith it takes to step off that cliff into the unknown. I was reminded today of the verse that says "where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst," and also "And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it." We attribute any strength or peace or joy we feel completely to God. The amazing thing is that you all have been a part of that. Even though you may be in a different state, or even country, you have gathered together to bring our family to God. You have connected spiritually and may never meet till heaven, isn't God amazing??!! We cannot express how eternally grateful we are.

Overall I've been reminded in the last couple of days that despite the fear I feel, when I take that fear and place it behind the cross of Christ and His love for me, that fear literally disappears. I also am learning that one of the greatest testimonies of faith is that from our weakness we can be made strong. We ask that now as we step off that cliff into the unknown, that the "whatever you ask" is that we remain strong because of the faith God gives us as we learn to look to Him and not at our circumstance, frustrations and fears... and that God is ultimately glorified in whatever happens.

Whatever you are facing, (little or life-altering), as I write this I pray that you can look to Christ and the immensity of His love for you instead of focusing on your fears... and through that that you are able to see God growing your faith and making you strong. What an amazing place to be, to be totally trusting God, be at peace and have pure joy... that is my prayer for you.

I've rambled enough...
love to you all, Linnea (and Tim too!)

Other specific requests...
... Obviously, that the effects of chemo are minimal and don't affect our family too much.
... There are some wounds that are being stubborn in healing, it shouldn't affect chemo, but I would rather not to have to worry about that anymore.
... That insurance doesn't become a headache for Tim and that the "critical condition" check we will get will come soon.
... That the 5 of us will have quality time together despite the chemo and emerge stronger and closer through this experience.